Shelby's Top 10 Most Memorable Moments of 2/3/2013
in chronological order.
- Waking up from a dream about health insurance scams to my 3 1/2 year old child screaming with blood running down his arms all over his body. Yes this happened this morning. My son was apparently going to bring mommy a glass of milk (Coffee Mate Cinnamon Vanilla Creamer) and tried to open the new bottle with a gigantic knife [GIGANTIC KITCHEN KNIFE] and ended up slicing open his thumb. Momma administered the best first aid she knew and then got all three of us dressed and spent an hour at the local ER. The first photo is momma's first aid attempt, the second after the doctor patched him up. By the way, that's a purple bandage on his index finger in the second photo, not blood.
- You can't go to the grocery store and buy only chocolate milk for your injured child. You also must buy three flavors of sugar free jello and a pizza. It may also require Snapple purchasing and perhaps a new Dora the Explorer book and some organic fruit leather strips. This is all true.
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On Sundays I post on Facebook a lot, especially during the kids' naptime. Washing dishes and doing laundry can wait, Momma needs to be social even if she can't go clubbing. (I don't.) I also scroll through a lot of silly photos on Facebook. Of the 10 or so I shared, this one is my favorite.
I mean, no one really ever has. O_o
- Snapple. It's kind of the shit. Not like, "ew, who poo'd" but like "Heck yes, best ever!" Drink it. It's better than anything.
- I went to the store two separate times today. The second time was because I realized I needed cat food. And a new coffee maker. And coffee. And coffee filters. But mostly cat food. Half of it is still in the trunk of the car. Because I live on the third floor and I hate carrying up boxes and stuff while also carrying my little punk and herding my now injured child up the steps to "the house." So after I write this, guess who is going to get her cat food and coffee maker from the car. Mostly the cat food. Gulli is hungry.
- You know that silly joke about the guy who was murdered and it gives all the alibis for all the suspects and you have to figure out who did it and the answer is the maid because her alibi was that she was getting the mail and it was Sunday and "there's no post on Sunday." I have one thing to say to that. I get the mail on Sunday. Because I'm too lazy to go get it Thursday through Saturday. So I get the mail twice a week on Wednesday and Sunday. So don't be suspecting me of killing someone, k? I really do the get mail on Sundays.
- First half of "the big game" I only have to say GO RAVENS!
- Half time - Beyoncé, girl, please get off the big screen. Get off all the screens. You're darling, really, but I'm ready for a new mega star. Bieber and Minaj - You may NOT apply. Go away.
- Second half of big game two things happened. I'll get to the first thing second. The second thing is first. Because I can. So the second thing is. GO 49ERS! Sorry you didn't win but WELL PLAYED HALF! The first thing is the silly little power outage. This is all I have to say.
- Lastly, did you know the secret to AH-MAY-ZING French toast is a good coffee creamer. Try this. I'll share my french toast making method in a different post at some point; but just imagine this if you will, how amazing this is.
That's all I have for today, it's been a crazy long and eventful Sunday. I hope yours was much more relaxed. And I hope you watched football. And drank beer. Or wine. Or orange juice. Whatever. And if you have any leftover wings, first of all, shame on you. Second, overnight them to me.
-Shelby
